


Cestoda

by SoloChaos



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anyways, I mean, I've grown up listening to this kind of stuff, M/M, actual shit, don't be too daunted, it's educational though, kinda gross, not quite sex, sorry kids, suffer with me for a bit, there is a discussion about shit, this story is funny I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:16:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3545723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler uses his fingers for a lot of things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cestoda

Tyler uses his fingers for a lot of things.

He uses them to write, for example. He uses them to play the uke and piano. He uses them to mimic a gun onstage. And now he's using them to finger his bandmate/best friend/boyfriend's… butt. Behind. Bottom. Posterior. Rear end. Anus.

Anus.

Folks, we have a winner for the least sexy word of all time.

"This is awkward," Tyler mutters.

Josh, who's lying on his back on the bed, uses his elbows to prop himself up. "No kidding," he says dryly.

Tyler flushes. "I– I mean, you…" he clears his throat, lowering his voice, "y'know, uh, _poop_ there."

Josh stares at him. "I'm aware," he says. Tyler notices the beginnings of a blush appear on his cheekbones.

"I just…" Tyler begins. "Um. Did you, like… wash there? Or something?"

Josh pulls his elbows back, collapsing against the bed with a groan.

"Like, how well do I need to wash my hands after this?" Tyler asks. He's pretty sure this is a valid question to be asking. "Like… what will my fingers look like when I pull them out? Will they just look kind of lube-y, or–"

"This is not the dirty kind of talk most people have as foreplay," Josh interrupts, speaking to the ceiling.

"I mean, you can get all kinds of infections and diseases from, uh, poop. Like typhoid, or cholera, or hepatitis something, or tape worms–"

"I do _not_ have tape worms," Josh says hotly.

"Well, we do travel a lot. You could've eaten something with the eggs and–" he cuts himself off when he sees Josh's expression. "You don't have tape worms."

"I don't," Josh agrees.

"So, uh." Tyler looks at his fingers. "Should I put another in?"

"Okay," Josh says, pulling Tyler's fingers out. "Okay. We are going to stop this. We are going to jerk each other off, then take a nap, then shower while jerking each other off again, and then have a discussion about acceptable topics during both foreplay and sex."

"Okay," Tyler agrees. Josh did always have a knack for planning.

Josh studies him for a moment before kissing his forehead. "You tried," he says, somehow managing to _not_ sound condescending.

"I did," Tyler says as Josh begins to pepper his face with kisses. "Now, uh. Can I… can I wash my hands?"

Josh is laughing as he pushes Tyler towards the bathroom.

**Author's Note:**

> seriously though kids you can wind up with hepatitis A and E, typhoid, cholera, giardiasis, poliomyelitis, ascariasis, and other fun things by ingesting poop. so be careful by washing your hands after using the bathroom, using caution when drinking or eating somewhere questionable, and taking care to wash yourself properly before and after doing anal.


End file.
